Sunday musings

the other night i had a dream about my sister. she was much younger (20 something), wearing a long black dress or muumuu, couldn't tell which. she was looking very pretty and had long black hair. i remember her as having choke boyfriends and doing all kinds of crazy things that i would never consider doing (i think i was really conservative almost my whole life!). she took my father's 1955 chevy once and took her friends for a ride down the ala wai canal and got into an accident. i think he was really pissed, but i don't recall what happened when he found out. i think the cops called him because she had no license (just a key!). anyhow, my sister was looking good. i mentioned to james, who merely raised an eyebrow. dreams are significant to him. he sent me a telepathic message that said "put that on the shelf for the moment, but don't forget about it." that's what happens when you've been together for a while--you don't have to talk; silent messages will do. hard to tell lies when you're that connected :-(

the day after lono's funeral, my sister went home to the big island. she lives in pepeekeo. i've never been to visit her, despite the fact that i've traveled to the big island at least ten times since she moved there. tells you something about our relationship. the line between blood relatives and spirit relatives is fuzzy. and the definition of family has shifted in my lifetime, in my understanding. we always say "i love you", but the feeling that keeps family members connected for a lifetime, whether we see each other or not, seems sometimes less strong with real blood relatives than with others. why is that? i suspect there's something wrong with me.

the family finally secured a death certificate and had the house (homestead lease) changed over to roy, the next oldest child. and roy also inherited guardianship for some of his nephews. it's a big chunk of work and responsibility to pick up. but i imagine it will, as always, be taken in stride. roy is a deacon in his church in nanakuli. lucky he has "god on his side", instead of practicing heathen ways, like some of his relatives (namely his aunty, me). the church supports him, and has supported lono and the family in the past. that counts for something. i think i may have had that once before, when james and i first got married and he was pastor of a church in kalihi. but then he decided to step down (i gave him such a hard time about the church and missionaries and their impact on hawaiian practices and culture--that may have helped convince him). he became a 'recovering christian' (in his words) and acknowledged that his removing himself was because of his disenchantment with the church and with christians who could not, would not see that the christian perspective should always take into account social justice issues. he believed that jesus was, among other things, a social justice activist, hence he was hanging out with those at the lowest class level--workers. that's kinda like the ahupua`a philosophy that recognizes healthy streams as those with cold, clear, fast running water that benefits the basic life in the stream--shellfish, limu, etc. if you raise the quality of life at the bottom, everything/everyone else benefits. so a good christian, aside from sticking the work of raising the bottom on god, actually has a responsibility to help (kuleana, the action verb!) everyone in society to thrive, beginning at the bottom! i like that.

today i'm going to visit my nieces and nephews in nanakuli. it's sunday. i have a day off, for a change. i want to make sure they remember who i am! i shall take photos and post on the next post!